Showing posts with label things that annoy me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label things that annoy me. Show all posts

Friday, July 24, 2009

More Things That Annoy Me

Sequels suck. How many movies have been ruined by crappy, straight-to-video sequels that you wouldn't watch if someone was paying you $25,657.83 to do so. Recently I wrote a post about things that annoy me and promised a follow up. Here it is. It might suck, but hopefully not as much as a typical Hollywood sequel. Without further delay, and in no particular order, more things that annoy me.

OK, I'll admit it; I'm short. I'm 5'7" and not a hair's breadth taller. I've always had a bit of a complex about it and I obsess about height. I think I've looked at every post on celebheights.com at least a dozen times. I would give my left testicle to be 6'4" and am very sensitive to all things height related. I'm sorry. But as a courtesy to us small people I would like to extend a challenge to tall people everywhere. Please be conscious of what you are doing and how it relates to the vertically challenged. I have given change to a great many tall people in my life. Almost always, when accepting change they hold their hand straight out in front of them. The problem with this is that straight out for them is at my chest! So now I have to reach up above my neckline to put the change in their hand. It makes me feel 8 inches tall. Can we put the hand down a bit lower please? You're the one with the gift. Look out for the little guy, literally and figuratively.

Tattoos are great. They allow you to express yourself, be creative, and express to the world that you are indeed NOT a badass. So surely if you are way into the tattoo culture, what better way to let the world know (besides that tattoo on your neck) than a t-shirt covered with tattoo inspired art? Such is the logic behind Ed Hardy t-shirts. At first it was interesting but they are popping up everywhere. Remember when if someone had a tattoo they were edgy and unique? Everyone has a tattoo now. I think they have a new tattoo shop opening up with a new line of Disney tattoos for elementary students. The same thing has happened with the Ed Hardy shirts. People buy them to represent what tattoos used to represent: badassness (not a word but if making up words is good enough for Shakespeare it is good enough for me). The rub is that they don't make you a badass, they make you a douche. Especially the long sleeve t-shirts. I've believed this for some time but now that Jon Gosselin wears them all the time, even in the shower, I have never been more vindicated. Who is a bigger douche than that guy? I would like to have a 6 month moratorium on the Ed Hardy shirts and see if we're still clamoring for them after the absence. My guess is that we wouldn't.

What is the reason for the rise in allergies. There is so much medication now for nasal allergies, seasonal allergies, allergies to pet dander and so many other forms of allergies that you could fill 3 medicine cabinets to combat them all. I don't remember hearing about all of these things even 20 years ago let alone when my grandfather was a young man. He joined the armed forces when he was 15 toward the end of World War II. I don't think they were too concerned about itchy eyes back then. There were more important things to deal with. Our lives have become too easy. All you hear about lately is peanut allergies. Even one peanut in the same gymnasium as someone with peanut allergies could lead to that person going into anaphalactic shock. Huh? How did we evolve in one generation to suddenly now have a brand new type of allergy that nobody seemed to have fifty years ago? Because of that one kid students cannot bring anything with peanuts or peanut butter to some schools for lunch out of fear that someone will become ill from inhaling the slightest whiff. On many flights they hand out some crappy fiesta mix because they won't have the peanuts handed out any longer. Can we all just CALM DOWN? Here's an idea. If you're the one person out of 5,000 who has a peanut allergy how about you just eat in a classroom or get home schooled? Why do the other 4,999 kids have to alter their lifestyle to suit yours? Pretty soon we're going to go to a baseball game and not be able to buy peanuts because some albino hemophiliac sitting in a luxury box might have a hint of peanut waft in through the air conditioner. These things never seem to be a big problem in Detroit or South Los Angeles or anywhere people struggle financially; only in Malibu or Seattle. Toughen up people. We don't need to proceed with all the histrionics every time someone MIGHT get sick.

There is this one area outside of the store where I work that is an oddity. It is a very wide concrete ramp between a handicapped parking spot and an open, covered outdoor area. Nobody is quite sure what its purpose is. The one thing everyone can agree on though is that it is not a parking spot. Inevitably though, I see cars parked on that ramp from time to time. This despite the fact that the ramp is the same width and looks the same as the ramp which leads right up to the front door of the store. I am never sure who parks on this ramp but I know they have at least one thing in common: the car they drive is a luxury car. I don't want to jump to any conclusions because, after all, I am the last who would ever do so. But it seems to smack of the rich guy doing whatever the hell he wants doesn't it? I'm not saying they are bad people. I sincerely believe that many of these people aren't consciously thinking about the fact that it might not be a parking space and parking there anyway; the thought never crosses their minds at all. This is the true problem. Those with money tend to have the ability to smooth things over far more easily than those without money. There are not major repercussions for actions. It makes people careless and they end up parking in areas that are not supposed to be parking spaces. Can we, as a society, pay some attention on the road? If the parking lot is full and there is what appears to be a prime parking spot open, can we stop to think about why that space might not be filled? Maybe it is because it is not a parking spot after all. Just saying.

On that same note why are we so afraid to be wrong? I don't know about you but I have been wrong a time or two, or fifty thousand, in my life. When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. It hurts sometimes but I know that admitting it and learning from it will make me a better person. I'm not sure when it became a crime to be wrong but people would rather kill than admit they made a mistake. I never understood grammar much until I studied German in school where I learned about the passive way of speaking. Instead of saying "I wrote the paper" you would say "The paper was written". It shifts the subject from the person doing the action to the action that was done. This passive voice has been growing louder in recent years. When someone cannot operate a machine they say "the machine will not work" instead of "I cannot work this machine". They say "this screw will not go in" instead of "I cannot screw this in". You get the idea. We have become a nation of people who must not be at fault at all costs. Perhaps it is because of hyperlitigious attorneys who use any admission of fault to extort money out of unwitting persons. Maybe not. Either way I had to get my requisite shot at attorneys in sometime. I think it's because of the artificial self-esteem inflation that has happened in schools. We are taught that we are great, no matter what others say, so why would we think WE are the ones who are wrong? It must be the fault of something, or someone, else. If we all took more responsibility for our actions and a little more blame upon ourselves maybe we would learn something and become better human beings. Is anybody against being a better human being? I didn't think so.

Thank you for letting me get those off of my chest. There are plenty of things that annoy me but that clears things up for a little while. All I ask as you go through life is that you pay attention to what you are doing and ask yourself if it is a good idea, if it's the right thing to do, or if it will make the world a better place. If not, try not to do it. I wouldn't want you to end up on one of my lists someday.

Hai Majide

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Things That Annoy Me


All my life I've grown up with people telling me how annoying they think I am. At first I was insulted and shot back a sarcastic response. Now, as a more mature adult, I realize that I was simply projecting. What I was projecting were the countless things that annoy me on a regular basis. Not just things that make me roll my eyes but which make me shake my head repeatedly and want to tell everyone within earshot and beyond exactly how pissed off I am. I'm no David Letterman and so there will be no top 10 list. It's just a collection. Without further adieu...

What's with the kids sleeping on a baseball field in sleeping bags with their parents? I love sports more than anyone I know and there is NOTHING about this that would have appealed to me as a kid. First of all, it's weird to be out on a baseball field with thousands of others. The field is pretty dark, aside from a few lights coming from offices and in the concourse which would make for a rather eerie sight. Who could sleep with all those other people around? Would it stay quiet? And how far would you have to walk if you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? If you're in the very middle of the field, that's bad times. And the kids that wet the bed? If you're next to one of those, that's worse times. I would not like to have any part of that.

A handshake is very personal; at least it should be. It is your introduction to someone. It says something about who you are. I believe a handshake should be deliberate, thoughtful, firm. What annoys me is the people who are in a hurry to shake your hand. They want to get it over with as soon as possible. Fair enough, but in their haste to get it over with, they clamp down too soon. They end up grabbing your fingers and shaking them. One, it makes it so they are applying all the pressure to your fingers and you can't apply any back so it makes you seem weak. Two, if the person shaking your hands, rather your fingers, has a good grip, your fingers hurt like hell afterward. If you find you are one who does this, do us all a favor. I need you to wait until the area between your thumb and index finger touches the same area on the other person's hand, THEN clamp down into the handshake. Thank you.

Do I live in a black hole? A black hole has such a gravitational pull that nothing escapes, not even light. Since my house shows up on Google Earth I'm guessing no, I don't live in a black hole. Try to get your air conditioner fixed though and you'll think otherwise. There are four cities that border Rialto: Fontana, San Bernardino, Colton and Bloomington. I saw not one, not two, but three different air conditioning repair businesses who serviced all four of these cities but not Rialto. Also, regional borders for some companies also seemed to stop right before getting to Brea, Riverside from the south and Fontana to the west. Perhaps the crime rate is so high that it is prohibitively expensive to carry insurance if they operate in Rialto. We had to roll the dice on a local outfit and luckily they came through. Would have been much easier had Rialto existed on the maps of the more reputable companies.

When thinking of some of the biggest fashion don'ts of the last 30 years, some make me laugh and some make my eyes bug out. Only one makes me want to slap the person committing the fashion faux pas. That serial offender is the mandal. You know the ones I'm talking about; the sandals with the straps that originally were used by hippies for being outdoors but now is the summer wear of choice for every uncool, middle aged suburban dork. Seriously, flip flops are classic and eternally cool. Either wear flip flops or wear shoes. Mandals look ridiculous. End of story. And don't even get me started on sandals with socks.

I have a suggestion to people. Please listen! My wife would find it ironic that I would mention this since she claims that I hear nothing and ignore everything. It's true that sometimes I don't hear the first few words of a conversation. But usually when this happens I try to find out what I missed or I just don't answer. Lately at work it seems everyone has been answering questions that I didn't ask. I will ask someone what type of something they need and they answer yes or no. Seriously, if you walk into a place of business and are looking to get help from someone that works there, then it pays to listen to what they are asking. The only thing you accomplish by not answering my question is getting me annoyed by having to ask it again. Odds are you're not going to get as good of a product when I am annoyed. By all means, if this is what you want then please come in my store and antagonize me. Otherwise please pay just the slightest bit of attention and listen the first time. Thank you.

This is only the beginning to what annoys me and there will be plenty more posts like this in the future. I will have another one soon. In the meantime, please be conscious of what you are doing so you don't end up on my list.

Hai Majide