Wednesday, August 5, 2009

More 1/3 Baked Ideas

A little while back I wrote about a few 1/3 baked ideas I had. These are ideas that are not quite good enough to be 1/2 baked. Here are a few more which came straight from my brain. Results may vary.

A little while ago I was watching someone eat a Drumstick ice cream treat. As delicious as the whole thing is, my favorite part of the Drumstick is the very last bite; the bottom of the cone containing a thick layer of chocolate and a small bit of the remaining ice cream. From the moment I first bite into the top I can think of nothing else besides treating myself to that delectable combination of waffle cone, chocolate and vanilla ice cream (Caramel Drumsticks do not apply). It almost feels like I am cheating on the rest of the Drumstick by dreaming of another. Then I got to one of my more dangerous activities, which is thinking. What if they put out a version of Drumsticks where that last bite was all there was? It would just be a bin, a la Dibs, full of frozen Drumstick bottoms: tip of the waffle cone, thick layer of chocolate inside and just a bit of vanilla ice cream. Then I wouldn't have to eat the rest of the Drumstick while dreaming about the bottom. Heavenly deliciousness.

A few days back I heard a report on a local FM radio show I was forced to listen to at work regarding celebrity look alikes. These were not cheesy lounge performers mind you, rather these were sperm donors who look like celebrities so women can have children that look like they could be the offspring of said famous persons. This idea is quite creepy so naturally I had to draw it out to its furthest creepy extent. What if instead of getting the sperm of a celebrity look alike you could get the actual sperm or DNA of a celebrity? You want a baby from George Clooney? No need to have sex with him, just get a hold of a sample of his sperm and start having some of the best looking kids on the planet. Love Brad Pitt? Get a sample of his DNA and hire a shady lab outside the U.S. to clone him. My idea is to have a service by which one would procure said sperm and DNA samples from celebrities and sell them to potential stalkers, um, I mean really huge fans. A collection of good looking women surely could wrangle a sample or two from the best genetic specimens Hollywood and professional sports have to offer. It can all be done from other countries to get around the pesky U.S. legal system. Are there women who would pay into the six figure range to have a child that looks like their favorite stud? You know there are.

Those are my new 1/3 baked ideas. Check back for more ideas not good enough to be 1/2 baked at a later time when my brain sinks to depths which are more and more depraved.

Thanks for reading and big balls.

No comments:

Post a Comment