The computer that is my brain never stops working. Even when I want it to power down for a little bit it keeps on whirring. Only through copious amounts of alcohol can I even slow it down. For all the times this is annoying, occasionally it yields interesting results. These results are my 1/3 baked ideas. For those of you new or unfamiliar, these are ideas which are not quite good enough to be half baked. Today you are getting 1/3 more of my 1/3 baked ideas. For you without calculators, that's 4. These come completely from my own brain. Any resemblance to any other ideas, past or present, is merely coincidental.
Idea 1. I love Twitter. I try to tweet every so often without being obnoxious about it. I also follow a lot of other people who are tweeting. I enjoy reading what they have to say and appreciate the updates. Unless it is an update on something that is on TV which has not yet aired on the west coast. Last night I checked my phone and saw there was a text message from twitter. I pressed OK to read it and the yet-to-be-aired results of Dancing With the Stars (I'll admit I watch it. I am not ashamed.) hit me in the face like a Manny Pacquiao right hand. The time was 8:26 PDT when I read the message and the final results show would not begin to air for another 34 minutes. I know people are eager to give congratulations for great achievements (or not so great achievements) but can this wait until everyone has had a chance to see it?
I propose that individuals not be allowed to tweet results of awards shows, competitions, etc. that have yet to air in their entirety on the west coast. Anyone caught violating this rule more than once will have their twitter account suspended. I should not have to forsake all contact with my cell phone for an entire evening so results are not spoiled for me. Thanks in advance.
Idea 2. The NFL, in its quest to make not just other worldly money but rather ungodly money, is throwing around the idea of extending the regular season from 16 to 18 games. More games means more revenue. This is a terrible idea. There are already so many players who get hurt during the course of playing 16 games of such a fast, violent sport. What do you suppose will happen if you make these tired, weary players play 2 more games? Fewer injuries? I don't think so. If the NFL wants to make more money without putting their players (without whom nobody would get all of this revenue) at risk here is what it needs to do.
The regular season is 17 weeks long currently. The extra week is because each team gets a bye week at some point during the season. What if the NFL just extended the regular season by one week and gave each team an extra bye week? Every team would play on the first week of the season and the last week of the season. Then each team would receive a bye in the first half of the season and the second half of the season. This would mean that 4 teams would have a bye each week. The same number of games would be played as before but revenue would be increased in two ways.
First, revenue would increase directly because the league could negotiate slightly higher TV rights contracts due to the extra week of football. Indirectly, revenue would increase because players would be better rested and less prone to injury. Viewership is up when key players are healthy and playing instead of injured. Also, with players having more time to rest, the quality of play will increase slightly, making the games more fun to watch and garnering higher ratings, which will lead to increased TV rights money and higher advertising dollars. The league gets more money and the players do not need to play any extra games. Win-win.
Idea 3. A couple days ago I got a paper cut at the very top of my finger, right by the edge of my fingernail. A traditional band-aid will not work because if you place it over the top of your finger, it will not stay on. Wrapping it around the finger at the top will keep it on but the paper cut is slightly exposed. Why can't we have a band aid that goes on kind of like a thimble, covering the entire top of the finger so that the wound can be completely covered. At the top of the bandage would be the antiseptic pad and the bottom would be sticky so it can adhere to the finger tightly all the way around. Problem solved.
Idea 4. We all have either played Rock Band or watched somebody play. We stand, mouth agape, in awe of someone playing at 100%. We laugh at that same person who has had too much to drink and cannot play nearly as well. Wouldn't you like to see this side by side? I propose a new web series that will show people doing the same things both sober and intoxicated. Imagine seeing a video of someone playing Rock Band. The camera looks over the shoulder as the same song is played sober and drunk so you can see the person racking up points on one side, messing up constantly on the other. We could expand this to other endeavors. How about sober vs. drunk free throw shooting? Or bike riding? (Without cars around and while wearing a helmet of course) How fun would it be to see highlights of someone taking an SAT exam sober vs. drunk and seeing how much more poorly they score drunk? Could someone do these things better while drunk? I think it would make for good entertainment. The possibilities are endless. Like you wouldn't watch this?
Those are the results of this week's endless thought. I'd like to think some of these ideas might work in a parallel universe. It's a shame my brain isn't wired to think about social problems or physics. Alas.
Idea 1. I love Twitter. I try to tweet every so often without being obnoxious about it. I also follow a lot of other people who are tweeting. I enjoy reading what they have to say and appreciate the updates. Unless it is an update on something that is on TV which has not yet aired on the west coast. Last night I checked my phone and saw there was a text message from twitter. I pressed OK to read it and the yet-to-be-aired results of Dancing With the Stars (I'll admit I watch it. I am not ashamed.) hit me in the face like a Manny Pacquiao right hand. The time was 8:26 PDT when I read the message and the final results show would not begin to air for another 34 minutes. I know people are eager to give congratulations for great achievements (or not so great achievements) but can this wait until everyone has had a chance to see it?
I propose that individuals not be allowed to tweet results of awards shows, competitions, etc. that have yet to air in their entirety on the west coast. Anyone caught violating this rule more than once will have their twitter account suspended. I should not have to forsake all contact with my cell phone for an entire evening so results are not spoiled for me. Thanks in advance.
Idea 2. The NFL, in its quest to make not just other worldly money but rather ungodly money, is throwing around the idea of extending the regular season from 16 to 18 games. More games means more revenue. This is a terrible idea. There are already so many players who get hurt during the course of playing 16 games of such a fast, violent sport. What do you suppose will happen if you make these tired, weary players play 2 more games? Fewer injuries? I don't think so. If the NFL wants to make more money without putting their players (without whom nobody would get all of this revenue) at risk here is what it needs to do.
The regular season is 17 weeks long currently. The extra week is because each team gets a bye week at some point during the season. What if the NFL just extended the regular season by one week and gave each team an extra bye week? Every team would play on the first week of the season and the last week of the season. Then each team would receive a bye in the first half of the season and the second half of the season. This would mean that 4 teams would have a bye each week. The same number of games would be played as before but revenue would be increased in two ways.
First, revenue would increase directly because the league could negotiate slightly higher TV rights contracts due to the extra week of football. Indirectly, revenue would increase because players would be better rested and less prone to injury. Viewership is up when key players are healthy and playing instead of injured. Also, with players having more time to rest, the quality of play will increase slightly, making the games more fun to watch and garnering higher ratings, which will lead to increased TV rights money and higher advertising dollars. The league gets more money and the players do not need to play any extra games. Win-win.
Idea 3. A couple days ago I got a paper cut at the very top of my finger, right by the edge of my fingernail. A traditional band-aid will not work because if you place it over the top of your finger, it will not stay on. Wrapping it around the finger at the top will keep it on but the paper cut is slightly exposed. Why can't we have a band aid that goes on kind of like a thimble, covering the entire top of the finger so that the wound can be completely covered. At the top of the bandage would be the antiseptic pad and the bottom would be sticky so it can adhere to the finger tightly all the way around. Problem solved.
Idea 4. We all have either played Rock Band or watched somebody play. We stand, mouth agape, in awe of someone playing at 100%. We laugh at that same person who has had too much to drink and cannot play nearly as well. Wouldn't you like to see this side by side? I propose a new web series that will show people doing the same things both sober and intoxicated. Imagine seeing a video of someone playing Rock Band. The camera looks over the shoulder as the same song is played sober and drunk so you can see the person racking up points on one side, messing up constantly on the other. We could expand this to other endeavors. How about sober vs. drunk free throw shooting? Or bike riding? (Without cars around and while wearing a helmet of course) How fun would it be to see highlights of someone taking an SAT exam sober vs. drunk and seeing how much more poorly they score drunk? Could someone do these things better while drunk? I think it would make for good entertainment. The possibilities are endless. Like you wouldn't watch this?
Those are the results of this week's endless thought. I'd like to think some of these ideas might work in a parallel universe. It's a shame my brain isn't wired to think about social problems or physics. Alas.
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