My Fair Pygmalion

Imagine a very small island out in the middle of nowhere in the South Pacific. Imagine it being a very poor island with little to no industry and having been ravaged by previous settlers leaving the native inhabitants of the island nothing to show for it. Imagine the smallest town you can think of with one post office, one church, a small police station and one small school house. Now, imagine each of the above are in severe disrepair. You've imagined Banaba Island, part of the Republic of Kiribati.

Go ahead and look it up on Wikipedia or Google Earth. The island is only about 2 miles across and located 180 miles from the next closest island and almost 1,000 miles from any semblance of real civilization. The island was ravaged by almost 80 years of phosphate mining and has no real industry of which to speak. There are around 300 inhabitants of Banaba Island with the population decreasing slightly in the last decade. Let me be perfectly clear, this island has NOTHING.

So now imagine you are a billionaire. You are looking to spend money but not in the usual way. You are not into yachts or houses in the Hamptons or gold plated toilets. You want to do something creative, newsworthy and bizarrely educational. What better way to blow your dough than to invest in Banaba Island. Here's my crazy plan.

Much like the storyline in the book Pygmalion, later modernized in the movie My Fair Lady, it would be fascinating to see what would happen if you took a group of people who have nothing and suddenly give them everything. Would they adopt the change? Would they reject the assistance? Would they turn into couch potatoes and act like many American males living in their parents' basement? The possibilities are endless.

I would essentially give them everything they would need and which would be found in a modern, upper-class suburb. Everyone would have a spacious, comfortable home with full heating and air conditioning, excellent plumbing, insulation, and nice interiors. Every one's home would be the same so as not to differentiate between families or individuals. I would also upgrade all of the town's amenities. There would be a new post office, new community center, new church, new schoolhouse and a new medical center. I would also pave new roads between all key areas of the island, build a few large parks for recreation and construct recreational areas along the water's edge. There would also be a market where food, supplies and items for entertainment would be sold.

How would Banaba Island's residents earn the money to buy supplies and food? Everyone would be given a communications type job. It could be a telemarketing job or Internet monitoring. Everyone would do similar work and be paid a similar wage. This would ensure that all inhabitants would be just as well off financially as their neighbors. There could be no financial jealousy. This would all be facilitated by a modern communications center. All inhabitants would have access to full Internet, a wide variety of television and radio programs, and news from many different sources as well as full telephone access. Essentially they would be given all of the things a modern, middle-class American person would have access to.

This would all be supported by a fully trained staff. There would be top notch professionals in all fields to facilitate the needs of the islanders. There would be a doctor and support staff, a school teacher, trained security, hospitality workers for the community center, postal staff, communications staff and maintenance crew. These folks would likely have to be paid very well and do set stints on the island, 6 months at a time at close to 200% the going rate to account for the many months of isolation.

With all of that in place the real interesting drama unfolds. What becomes of the island inhabitants? One scenario is that they adopt a very modern lifestyle and with the high quality education and services they receive send kids out in the world to be professionals and make it in the wide world. Some might come back, have kids of their own and perpetuate the cycle and Banaba Island could become a bastion of greatness in the South Pacific. Another scenario is that they enjoy the modern lifestyle but do not appreciate it because it was handed to them. They let their houses fall into disrepair, the kids do not make the most of their education, staff is unappreciated and they fail to work hard to earn their living. Would a sense of entitlement set in so that they think they should continue to receive the best of modern life without putting any effort into work or maintaining the island?

I do not know enough about the people of Banaba Island to predict what the end result was. It sure would be fascinating to find out. You could even do a Truman Show like production to chronicle the lives and progress of those on the island. Typically, human nature shows itself to treat poorly what was not hard earned. It is the reason that people who win the lottery or athletes who make money from their physical gifts tend to spend money wastefully and end up broke when the money could last for generations. Those who make money by working hard and innovating tend to make the money last and spend it wisely. Perhaps that is why, as a freshly minted billionaire, I am spending my money in this fashion. Either result would be fascinating and could go a long way toward understanding true human nature.

Hai Majide

Coming back from the Angels game last night I was driving in the 2 lane and came upon a car doing exactly 58 miles per hour (I know because I followed it for a mile or so). My first inclination was to become frustrated but my second inclination was to write a post about it. The freeway is the greatest and the worst thing about driving. By nature I love to drive, but nothing makes me want to take public transportation more than the freeway. Sometimes I think about how great it would be to have an Autobahn like system. Then I snap back to reality and realize that it could never happen in this country. Why is that? Let us count the ways.

1. We do not have enough aggregate driving skill. Many of us in this country, especially in the Los Angeles area, come from different areas of the world where driving is not an everyday part of life. It is very difficult to take a mature adult who has never driven and make them drive. It is a skill that needs to be learned from early in life, sort of like speaking a second language. It is hard to trust those with little to no history of driving with being able to choose their own speed on the highway.

2. Government and law enforcement still have a worldview that is set in the 1950's. Basically it is slow down, slow down, slow down. Setting low speed limits 50 years ago made sense for a couple reasons. First, there were gas shortages and going slower improved gas mileage. Second, cars were quite unsafe compared with modern standards. Seat belts weren't even standard yet. If there was an accident at those speeds a driver would surely be killed. Now there are routinely accidents on the freeway where everyone walks away. Cars are built better and safer and will not fall apart and shudder if the odometer hits 90 or 100 mph. Speed differential kills. There are folks who will drive as fast as they want regardless of the speed limit and many who stick to 65 mph because it's the law, many of these folks occupying all lanes instead of the right hand lanes. If we had a system where those slower cars had to stay to the right and fast cars could go fast we would have much better traffic flow without all the lane changes to clog everything up.

3. There are too many trucks on the road. I understand that these large 18 wheel trucks are the backbone of our economy. I get it. But can we tell these truck drivers to stay in the right hand lane? There is nothing more aggravating than coming up on a snarl of traffic created when a truck ventured into the 2 lane to pass a truck in the 3 lane at 61 mph who was passing a truck in the right hand lane at 59 mph. Seriously guys, I know we're all trying to make our times but we need to just accept the 59 mph and move on. There are many other cars on the road who would like to do more than 61 mph. There is no reason to have trucks 3 wide on a 4 lane freeway. Any truck in the 2 lane should get an automatic ticket. Any truck in the 3 lane for longer than it takes to pass another vehicle should be ticketed as well. It would keep the other 3 lanes free for cars and allow for better traffic flow. This will never happen however because "long-haul trucking is what built this country."

4. Americans are simply too distracted when they drive. If you ever go to Germany you will find that on the Autobahn, drivers are doing something revolutionary: they are driving! They are not talking on cell phones, yelling at their kids, eating, applying makeup, reading the newspaper or conducting an orchestra in their cars. All they do is focus on driving. This is a great idea since driving at 110 mph takes quite a bit of concentration. I just do not think American drivers have the discipline to simply focus on the road with a little bit of light background music to ease the long drive. Driving at over 100 mph while trying to read a map or talk on the phone is a recipe for disaster and would be inevitable.

I wish we could all be better drivers and could enjoy the liberating feeling of being able to get to your destination as fast as you would like without having to look in your mirrors every two seconds checking for Highway Patrol cars. Driving from L.A. to Las Vegas shouldn't take 6 hours if one travels the speed limit. You should be able to get there in 3 hours if you have a safe car and are comfortable driving at high speeds. Unfortunately we have no way to insert a driving chip to make everyone a great driver. Yet.

Thanks for reading and big balls.

More Things That Annoy Me

Sequels suck. How many movies have been ruined by crappy, straight-to-video sequels that you wouldn't watch if someone was paying you $25,657.83 to do so. Recently I wrote a post about things that annoy me and promised a follow up. Here it is. It might suck, but hopefully not as much as a typical Hollywood sequel. Without further delay, and in no particular order, more things that annoy me.

OK, I'll admit it; I'm short. I'm 5'7" and not a hair's breadth taller. I've always had a bit of a complex about it and I obsess about height. I think I've looked at every post on celebheights.com at least a dozen times. I would give my left testicle to be 6'4" and am very sensitive to all things height related. I'm sorry. But as a courtesy to us small people I would like to extend a challenge to tall people everywhere. Please be conscious of what you are doing and how it relates to the vertically challenged. I have given change to a great many tall people in my life. Almost always, when accepting change they hold their hand straight out in front of them. The problem with this is that straight out for them is at my chest! So now I have to reach up above my neckline to put the change in their hand. It makes me feel 8 inches tall. Can we put the hand down a bit lower please? You're the one with the gift. Look out for the little guy, literally and figuratively.

Tattoos are great. They allow you to express yourself, be creative, and express to the world that you are indeed NOT a badass. So surely if you are way into the tattoo culture, what better way to let the world know (besides that tattoo on your neck) than a t-shirt covered with tattoo inspired art? Such is the logic behind Ed Hardy t-shirts. At first it was interesting but they are popping up everywhere. Remember when if someone had a tattoo they were edgy and unique? Everyone has a tattoo now. I think they have a new tattoo shop opening up with a new line of Disney tattoos for elementary students. The same thing has happened with the Ed Hardy shirts. People buy them to represent what tattoos used to represent: badassness (not a word but if making up words is good enough for Shakespeare it is good enough for me). The rub is that they don't make you a badass, they make you a douche. Especially the long sleeve t-shirts. I've believed this for some time but now that Jon Gosselin wears them all the time, even in the shower, I have never been more vindicated. Who is a bigger douche than that guy? I would like to have a 6 month moratorium on the Ed Hardy shirts and see if we're still clamoring for them after the absence. My guess is that we wouldn't.

What is the reason for the rise in allergies. There is so much medication now for nasal allergies, seasonal allergies, allergies to pet dander and so many other forms of allergies that you could fill 3 medicine cabinets to combat them all. I don't remember hearing about all of these things even 20 years ago let alone when my grandfather was a young man. He joined the armed forces when he was 15 toward the end of World War II. I don't think they were too concerned about itchy eyes back then. There were more important things to deal with. Our lives have become too easy. All you hear about lately is peanut allergies. Even one peanut in the same gymnasium as someone with peanut allergies could lead to that person going into anaphalactic shock. Huh? How did we evolve in one generation to suddenly now have a brand new type of allergy that nobody seemed to have fifty years ago? Because of that one kid students cannot bring anything with peanuts or peanut butter to some schools for lunch out of fear that someone will become ill from inhaling the slightest whiff. On many flights they hand out some crappy fiesta mix because they won't have the peanuts handed out any longer. Can we all just CALM DOWN? Here's an idea. If you're the one person out of 5,000 who has a peanut allergy how about you just eat in a classroom or get home schooled? Why do the other 4,999 kids have to alter their lifestyle to suit yours? Pretty soon we're going to go to a baseball game and not be able to buy peanuts because some albino hemophiliac sitting in a luxury box might have a hint of peanut waft in through the air conditioner. These things never seem to be a big problem in Detroit or South Los Angeles or anywhere people struggle financially; only in Malibu or Seattle. Toughen up people. We don't need to proceed with all the histrionics every time someone MIGHT get sick.

There is this one area outside of the store where I work that is an oddity. It is a very wide concrete ramp between a handicapped parking spot and an open, covered outdoor area. Nobody is quite sure what its purpose is. The one thing everyone can agree on though is that it is not a parking spot. Inevitably though, I see cars parked on that ramp from time to time. This despite the fact that the ramp is the same width and looks the same as the ramp which leads right up to the front door of the store. I am never sure who parks on this ramp but I know they have at least one thing in common: the car they drive is a luxury car. I don't want to jump to any conclusions because, after all, I am the last who would ever do so. But it seems to smack of the rich guy doing whatever the hell he wants doesn't it? I'm not saying they are bad people. I sincerely believe that many of these people aren't consciously thinking about the fact that it might not be a parking space and parking there anyway; the thought never crosses their minds at all. This is the true problem. Those with money tend to have the ability to smooth things over far more easily than those without money. There are not major repercussions for actions. It makes people careless and they end up parking in areas that are not supposed to be parking spaces. Can we, as a society, pay some attention on the road? If the parking lot is full and there is what appears to be a prime parking spot open, can we stop to think about why that space might not be filled? Maybe it is because it is not a parking spot after all. Just saying.

On that same note why are we so afraid to be wrong? I don't know about you but I have been wrong a time or two, or fifty thousand, in my life. When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. It hurts sometimes but I know that admitting it and learning from it will make me a better person. I'm not sure when it became a crime to be wrong but people would rather kill than admit they made a mistake. I never understood grammar much until I studied German in school where I learned about the passive way of speaking. Instead of saying "I wrote the paper" you would say "The paper was written". It shifts the subject from the person doing the action to the action that was done. This passive voice has been growing louder in recent years. When someone cannot operate a machine they say "the machine will not work" instead of "I cannot work this machine". They say "this screw will not go in" instead of "I cannot screw this in". You get the idea. We have become a nation of people who must not be at fault at all costs. Perhaps it is because of hyperlitigious attorneys who use any admission of fault to extort money out of unwitting persons. Maybe not. Either way I had to get my requisite shot at attorneys in sometime. I think it's because of the artificial self-esteem inflation that has happened in schools. We are taught that we are great, no matter what others say, so why would we think WE are the ones who are wrong? It must be the fault of something, or someone, else. If we all took more responsibility for our actions and a little more blame upon ourselves maybe we would learn something and become better human beings. Is anybody against being a better human being? I didn't think so.

Thank you for letting me get those off of my chest. There are plenty of things that annoy me but that clears things up for a little while. All I ask as you go through life is that you pay attention to what you are doing and ask yourself if it is a good idea, if it's the right thing to do, or if it will make the world a better place. If not, try not to do it. I wouldn't want you to end up on one of my lists someday.

Hai Majide

Choosing a Club

I like to grow as a person whenever I can. I try to improve myself little by little and maybe by the time i am 83 I will be halfway there. My new obsessing? International soccer. I love the passion of the fans, I love the high quality of play and I love the cool accents. What's not to love? I've even begun to call soccer football. (Which makes sense because you use the foot a lot more in soccer than in American football right?) Being that I am part English and I've seen more of the English Premier League than any other high quality football league, naturally it was a great fit for me.

I learned that one of my favorite columnists, ESPN's Bill Simmons, was also interested in pursuing this. I read oven some of his material and modified it slightly in order to come up with my own requirements to decide which club was going to be my permanently adopted club going forward. For better or worse, top flight or relegated, this is going to be my team for the rest of my life. I had to make sure that I really was making the best choice for me. I didn't have as many requirements as Bill Simmons; I was able to narrow it down to four.

Bandwagon Potential. I've always prided myself on the fact that when I choose a team I am very selective. All of my American sports favorites are teams that I inherited from family, are local, or struck me in a very personal way when I chose them. I've never been one to start liking a team because they are good or because they were on T.V. all the time. Could you imagine someone coming here from another country, deciding to follow baseball and then adopting the New York Yankees as their favorite team? Ridiculous. Therefore I cannot adopt one of the clubs that make up the "Top 4", so named because of their finishing in the top 4 spots in the league year after year. Those clubs are Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Aresenal. I absolutely excluded those clubs right away.

Good Team With History but Room to Grow. In making a lifelong commitment to an EPL club I want to make sure I will still be able to follow the club in top flight play years from now. Every year the bottom three clubs in the standings drop to the second league, which is called relegation. The top three clubs in the second league are promoted to the Premier League. I cannot follow a team in danger of being relegated soon. What fun is it to follow a club that will be sent to lower division play for who knows how long? Therefore, the club I follow must have averaged a top 10 (out of 20) finish over the last 10 years. This lets me know they will likely be around for the long haul. I also needed a club that had a bit of history but hadn't won anything of note in a little while. Winning league and club football titles in Europe in the past is important because it shows tradition and the potential to be a winning football club. The club I will follow would have to have not won anything in a while though, because it would make any future success unexpected and more appreciated. I need room to grow with my selected club so the feeling of elation when a title is won is genuine and hard earned.

Great Place to Visit on Vacation. If I am going to follow a club for life, odds are there is going to come a time when I may want to take a trip across the pond to see them in action live. I sure don't want to have to spend a week in a town with little or nothing to offer. Manchester is out. So is Blackburn and Yorkshire. London is ideal but there may be a long shot lurking out there.

Great Uniforms. What better way to support your sports team than to wear a jersey on game day. I simply cannot spend upwards of $100 on an ugly jersey. It needs to be something I would be proud to wear in public. Something that catches the eye and lets the seasoned fan know where my loyalties lie. Pretty straight forward; the jersey needs to look sharp.

So taking all of these things into consideration, I landed on the club which I will be supporting in perpetuity: Tottenham Hotspur. They really had everything I was looking for. They are popular but not one of the "Top 4", so nobody could accuse me of liking them because they are at the top of the standings. They have won 2 league titles and placed well in European club championships but have not won anything since I was a toddler. The highest they have finished in the last 10 years is 5th but they have not been close to relegation. Indeed, they have failed to be in the top Premier League only once in the last 60 years so they are not going anywhere. They are based in northeast London so if I ever wanted to travel to see them play a match or two there will be plenty to do when it is not match day. Lastly, the uniforms are SHARP. I would be very proud to wear the jersey on match days to show my support.

Beyond these points there were a few other wild cards. Tottehnam has a natural rivalry with Arsenal, one of the "Top 4", which lies just 4 miles west. To be able to beat one of the 4 and have it mean so much would be extremely sweet as a fan. There are plans to build a fantastic new stadium on the site of the old stadium which will be right at the top of the league in terms of features, proximity to the field and fitting into the surrounding neighborhood. It will be an excellent place to take in a match should I travel that way and will provide a very raucous atmosphere. Not to be underestimated are the celebrities which call Spurs their favorites. Among them are Salmon Rushdie, Jude Law, Shania Twain and, last but not least, Baby Spice Emma Bunton. Being that I had a huge crush on Baby Spice back in the day, that really clinched it for me. Also, you have to love a club whose motto is "To Dare is to Do". I look forward to following the progress of Tottenham Hotspur throughout this coming season which kicks off on August 15. Go Spurs!!!

Another Viewing of the King

I guess the title is a bit of a misnomer considering there was not an actual viewing of Michael Jackson in the first place. Sure, you're thinking, another Michael Jackson story. But I swear this is an angle that hasn't been widely reported since his death three weeks ago. Everyone was so quick to focus on his music and his career that the last 17 years have been swept under the rug. The music was strong but I think people are almost as quick to remember all of the bizarre offstage antics during his life. But even to the extent these have been reported, hardly any attention has been given to WHY Michael Jackson was the way he was. I claim to have no inside information, nor do I pretend to have any definitive answers; all I have is my common sense and what I have observed of his life being very far removed from his world. This is not an attempt to disparage, slander, or spread gossip, but rather just throwing out a few theories.

We tend to forget just how young Michael Jackson was when he was Michael Jackson. The family moved to southern California from Gary, Indiana when Michael was a very young boy to strike it rich in the music industry. Michael and his siblings were pushed to great extremes by his father Joseph. It is very likely that Joseph abused Michael and his siblings in many ways including physically, emotionally and psychologically. From years of listening to the radio show Loveline, you knew if a woman called in and had a little girl voice she had been abused earlier on in life. I think part of Michael's voice comes as a byproduct of this abuse. Victims of abuse often are not able to interact well with others and have many true, meaningful relationships. It doesn't seem that Michael had any true friends, but simply an endless line of people who wanted to be around him or get something from him.

Due to the young life which was so structured in music I believe this is why he ended up in a state of constant youth. Michael grew up doing nothing but pursuing a music career and being at the whims of fame and his father. When he wasn't performing he was rehearsing. When he wasn't rehearsing he was recording. When he wasn't recording he was promoting. When he wasn't promoting he was doing his requisite schoolwork. There was no space in his life to be a normal kid, so he tried to be a kid his whole adult life. This isn't news. I do believe however that Michael Jackson always believed that he was a kid. Obviously he knew that according to his birth certificate he was an adult but always believed that he was no different from the kids. I believe that he did molest children but in a weird way, I also believe that he felt their equal and never felt like the responsible adult who should be looking out for them. In his own way, he felt like he was one of them and just acting out with his peers.

Being childlike also led him to be so dependent on others. Combined with his ability to buy whatever and whomever he wanted, did he really know how to do anything you or I would do without thinking? Could he cook? Do laundry? Mow the lawn? Wash a car? I think this led to his constant posse. He had handlers who took care of every grown up aspect of his life. This led to money being spent and eventually do his drug habit. He never had anybody to step in and say no to him because everyone around him was making money off of him being the celebrity he was. When people are on the payroll they are unlikely to stand up to you. His handlers simply allowed him to drift deeper and deeper into his habit and provide him with drugs. It was a very symbiotic relationship; they keep him high, he keeps them paid. It worked very well until 3 weeks ago when it all ended. We are still seeing the fallout from his death as it is now being treated as a criminal matter. Will we find out that certain people had something to gain from his death and planned it out to look like an accident? Time will tell.

I think the best modern comparison we can make to Michael Jackson's life (to the extent which it is possible to compare anyone's life to his) is Howard Hughes. Both grew up with wealth and in families which did not nurture them in a healthy way. Both had great success early in life (Michael with music, Howard with business). Both had fortune beyond anyone's imagination and pursued their own whims and interests with child like zeal. Both felt very isolated and lonely due to their celebrity and financial status. Both fell into drug habits which were perpetuated by a small group of handlers who were on the dole and didn't want to shake up the situation even though it would have been in their benefactors' best interest. Both died shrouded in mystery and will live on somewhat infamously even though both were arguably the best contributors to their respective pursuits as any of their contemporaries. Perhaps this will be the subject of a more in-depth treatment later on. For an honest, complete look at the life of Howard Hughes I would recommend HUGHES, The Private Diaries, Memos and Letters by Richard Hack. The parallels are a bit eerie.

Unfortunately, I believe Michael Jackson didn't get to live the type of life I'll bet he wishes he could have led. He wasn't free to do whatever he wanted, be with whomever he wanted, or go wherever he wanted. He was crippled by such an unusual, chaotic and traumatic childhood which caused him to not develop much of the adult sensibilities that most enjoy. He was forced to live in his own private world and those that were let in weren't the best influence on him. Perhaps if he was Michael Jackson, kid from Gary, Indiana he would have gone to school, went to college, met someone, had a nice career in another industry and settled into a "normal" life. Michael Jackson should have had the type of life that was so good that almost everyone would have wanted to trade place with him. Instead, he had the type of life that nobody would trade for. Regardless of what one might think of him Michael Jackson was a human being and now is no more. That's what's saddest of all.

Thanks for reading and big balls.

Things That Annoy Me

All my life I've grown up with people telling me how annoying they think I am. At first I was insulted and shot back a sarcastic response. Now, as a more mature adult, I realize that I was simply projecting. What I was projecting were the countless things that annoy me on a regular basis. Not just things that make me roll my eyes but which make me shake my head repeatedly and want to tell everyone within earshot and beyond exactly how pissed off I am. I'm no David Letterman and so there will be no top 10 list. It's just a collection. Without further adieu...

What's with the kids sleeping on a baseball field in sleeping bags with their parents? I love sports more than anyone I know and there is NOTHING about this that would have appealed to me as a kid. First of all, it's weird to be out on a baseball field with thousands of others. The field is pretty dark, aside from a few lights coming from offices and in the concourse which would make for a rather eerie sight. Who could sleep with all those other people around? Would it stay quiet? And how far would you have to walk if you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? If you're in the very middle of the field, that's bad times. And the kids that wet the bed? If you're next to one of those, that's worse times. I would not like to have any part of that.

A handshake is very personal; at least it should be. It is your introduction to someone. It says something about who you are. I believe a handshake should be deliberate, thoughtful, firm. What annoys me is the people who are in a hurry to shake your hand. They want to get it over with as soon as possible. Fair enough, but in their haste to get it over with, they clamp down too soon. They end up grabbing your fingers and shaking them. One, it makes it so they are applying all the pressure to your fingers and you can't apply any back so it makes you seem weak. Two, if the person shaking your hands, rather your fingers, has a good grip, your fingers hurt like hell afterward. If you find you are one who does this, do us all a favor. I need you to wait until the area between your thumb and index finger touches the same area on the other person's hand, THEN clamp down into the handshake. Thank you.

Do I live in a black hole? A black hole has such a gravitational pull that nothing escapes, not even light. Since my house shows up on Google Earth I'm guessing no, I don't live in a black hole. Try to get your air conditioner fixed though and you'll think otherwise. There are four cities that border Rialto: Fontana, San Bernardino, Colton and Bloomington. I saw not one, not two, but three different air conditioning repair businesses who serviced all four of these cities but not Rialto. Also, regional borders for some companies also seemed to stop right before getting to Brea, Riverside from the south and Fontana to the west. Perhaps the crime rate is so high that it is prohibitively expensive to carry insurance if they operate in Rialto. We had to roll the dice on a local outfit and luckily they came through. Would have been much easier had Rialto existed on the maps of the more reputable companies.

When thinking of some of the biggest fashion don'ts of the last 30 years, some make me laugh and some make my eyes bug out. Only one makes me want to slap the person committing the fashion faux pas. That serial offender is the mandal. You know the ones I'm talking about; the sandals with the straps that originally were used by hippies for being outdoors but now is the summer wear of choice for every uncool, middle aged suburban dork. Seriously, flip flops are classic and eternally cool. Either wear flip flops or wear shoes. Mandals look ridiculous. End of story. And don't even get me started on sandals with socks.

I have a suggestion to people. Please listen! My wife would find it ironic that I would mention this since she claims that I hear nothing and ignore everything. It's true that sometimes I don't hear the first few words of a conversation. But usually when this happens I try to find out what I missed or I just don't answer. Lately at work it seems everyone has been answering questions that I didn't ask. I will ask someone what type of something they need and they answer yes or no. Seriously, if you walk into a place of business and are looking to get help from someone that works there, then it pays to listen to what they are asking. The only thing you accomplish by not answering my question is getting me annoyed by having to ask it again. Odds are you're not going to get as good of a product when I am annoyed. By all means, if this is what you want then please come in my store and antagonize me. Otherwise please pay just the slightest bit of attention and listen the first time. Thank you.

This is only the beginning to what annoys me and there will be plenty more posts like this in the future. I will have another one soon. In the meantime, please be conscious of what you are doing so you don't end up on my list.

Hai Majide